Dobmancen is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, awe-inspiring guinea pig.

Dobmancen created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Dobmancen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dobmancen, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dobmancen's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Dobmancen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Never paint your feet gray.

5. Do not take Dobmancen's name in vain.