Yarpfot Ranxemgud is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, tiresome coyote.

Yarpfot Ranxemgud created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpfot Ranxemgud, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpfot Ranxemgud, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yarpfot Ranxemgud's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Yarpfot Ranxemgud's Holy Commandments

1. Yarpfot Ranxemgud loves cats, so they must be respected.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near rats while wearing magenta trousers and balancing eight nickel spheres on your head.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always look after injured geese.