Wapsinkan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, stupid weasel.

Wapsinkan created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapsinkan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Wapsinkan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wapsinkan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Wapsinkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Retreat if seven snails approach from the west.

4. Wapsinkan loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

5. Never look in ponds.