Besthivgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, all-knowing troll.

Besthivgeb created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Besthivgeb, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Besthivgeb, she will destroy your home solar system.

Besthivgeb's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Besthivgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Besthivgeb in the centre of the settlement.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help sick grasshopers.