Tenvadkim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, cheerful raccoon.

Tenvadkim created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Tenvadkim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tenvadkim, she will come to you in dreams.

Tenvadkim's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tenvadkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to sheep while wearing red shorts.

2. Run away if eight otters approach from the south.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Tenvadkim must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not make images of living things.