Methivgatmig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, dishonourable snail.

Methivgatmig created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Methivgatmig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Methivgatmig, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Methivgatmig's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Methivgatmig's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Methivgatmig.

4. Methivgatmig loves ants, so they must be respected.

5. Never gather five hamsters near bridges.