Mutgodhogbumfum is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous hamster.

Mutgodhogbumfum created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutgodhogbumfum, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mutgodhogbumfum, he will think nothing of it.

Mutgodhogbumfum's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Mutgodhogbumfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near great tits while wearing violet rings and balancing eight iron spheres on your head.

3. Do not study archaea on holy days.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not chop down trees.