Pinortdit is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited lobster.

Pinortdit created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pinortdit, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pinortdit, he will throw large rocks at you.

Pinortdit's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Pinortdit's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pinortdit.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always wash your neck before prayer.

4. Never eat strawberries on days of mourning.

5. Never mark doors with purple.