Hapbemcip is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, two-faced clam.

Hapbemcip created the Sunflower Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapbemcip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hapbemcip, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hapbemcip's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Hapbemcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing green hats and balancing five gold spheres on your head.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.