Zenfenvid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, loving bear.

Zenfenvid created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenfenvid, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Zenfenvid, she will manifest in front of you.

Zenfenvid's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Zenfenvid's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zenfenvid.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. Never mention seals.