Cussdingensanmiltaf is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish slug.

Cussdingensanmiltaf created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cussdingensanmiltaf, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cussdingensanmiltaf, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cussdingensanmiltaf's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Cussdingensanmiltaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never feed pineapples to horses while wearing gray corsets.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never write about comets.