Yimtapmig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, temperamental goose.

Yimtapmig created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimtapmig, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yimtapmig, she will turn you into a snail.

Yimtapmig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Yimtapmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place carrots upon stone.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never mention foxes.

5. Fast once a month.