Mankembop Fedbigvig is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, duplicitous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Mankembop Fedbigvig created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Mankembop Fedbigvig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mankembop Fedbigvig, she will cry a lot.

Mankembop Fedbigvig's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Mankembop Fedbigvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always treat gulls with great respect.

4. Put Mankembop Fedbigvig first in all things.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mankembop Fedbigvig.