Dutligmif Ontwatjabvonk Arnqueegstig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, astonishing rat.

Dutligmif Ontwatjabvonk Arnqueegstig created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dutligmif Ontwatjabvonk Arnqueegstig, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dutligmif Ontwatjabvonk Arnqueegstig, she will turn you into a mole.

Dutligmif Ontwatjabvonk Arnqueegstig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Dutligmif Ontwatjabvonk Arnqueegstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Never gather five monkeys in one place.

3. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

4. Put Dutligmif Ontwatjabvonk Arnqueegstig first in all things.

5. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.