Vilrattonk is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-powerful wolf.

Vilrattonk created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilrattonk, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vilrattonk, he will not care at all.

Vilrattonk's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vilrattonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

2. Never wear ear rings.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Always treat otters with great respect.

5. Vilrattonk loves swans, so they must be honoured.