Nanlopfag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, awe-inspiring snail.

Nanlopfag created a Higgs boson eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nanlopfag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nanlopfag, he will turn you into a hamster.

Nanlopfag's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Nanlopfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Never eat green fruit.