Japfligfod is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, blissful dove.

Japfligfod created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Japfligfod, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Japfligfod, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Japfligfod's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Japfligfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange corsets.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never laugh in summer.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.