Tagbifrillwon Gonranquaf is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring dragon.

Tagbifrillwon Gonranquaf created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagbifrillwon Gonranquaf, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tagbifrillwon Gonranquaf, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tagbifrillwon Gonranquaf's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tagbifrillwon Gonranquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never feed melons to monkeys while wearing orange shirts.

3. Do not consume beans at dawn.

4. Never mark doors with gray.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near capybaras while wearing cyan scarves.