Gamvonvab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, weak grasshopper.

Gamvonvab created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamvonvab, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gamvonvab, she will make you grow a tail.

Gamvonvab's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gamvonvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Do not speak about spinach.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.