Wothogbess Flamflaghas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, loving goose.

Wothogbess Flamflaghas created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wothogbess Flamflaghas, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wothogbess Flamflaghas, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Wothogbess Flamflaghas' most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Wothogbess Flamflaghas' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not wear green clothing.

4. Put Wothogbess Flamflaghas first in all things.

5. Never feed strawberries to cats while wearing shoes.