Nullibapp Timfotyarp Sawadbep is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, merciless bear.

Nullibapp Timfotyarp Sawadbep created the Sol system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullibapp Timfotyarp Sawadbep, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nullibapp Timfotyarp Sawadbep, she will destroy your home planet.

Nullibapp Timfotyarp Sawadbep's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Nullibapp Timfotyarp Sawadbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Nullibapp Timfotyarp Sawadbep on top of all buildings.

5. Never laugh in holy places.