Gatpomnad Hugjipyik is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, proud guinea pig.

Gatpomnad Hugjipyik created a Higgs boson three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatpomnad Hugjipyik, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gatpomnad Hugjipyik, he will turn you into a rock.

Gatpomnad Hugjipyik's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Gatpomnad Hugjipyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

2. Never prepare rice during winter.

3. Feed all hungry eagles.

4. Always look after injured turtles.

5. Heed all signs.