Benfemlid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, kind goblin.

Benfemlid created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Benfemlid, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Benfemlid, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Benfemlid's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Benfemlid's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of snails.

2. Worship no other gods but Benfemlid.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not take Benfemlid's name in vain.

5. Always help sick birds.