Fastargbag is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, weak hummingbird.

Fastargbag created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fastargbag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Fastargbag, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fastargbag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fastargbag's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. You must pray to Fastargbag six times a day.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.