Gigbonktaf is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, annoying rhinoceros.

Gigbonktaf created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigbonktaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gigbonktaf, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gigbonktaf's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gigbonktaf's Holy Commandments

1. Gigbonktaf loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Always help voles in need.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.