Stikwaptonk is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, all-knowing toad.

Stikwaptonk created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikwaptonk, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stikwaptonk, it will destroy your favourite star.

Stikwaptonk's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Stikwaptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at midnight.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.