Tanyamarf is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, annoying centaur.

Tanyamarf created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tanyamarf, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tanyamarf, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tanyamarf's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Tanyamarf's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Hide if three voles approach from the south.

3. Never wear purple skirts on sacred days.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect four copper sculptures of Tanyamarf on top of important buildings.