Fommidwot is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fast narwhal.

Fommidwot created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fommidwot, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fommidwot, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fommidwot's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Fommidwot's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Always help seals in need.

4. Always treat gulls with great respect.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.