Ortshavtunfunrowbeggabdit is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish snake.

Ortshavtunfunrowbeggabdit created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ortshavtunfunrowbeggabdit, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ortshavtunfunrowbeggabdit, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Ortshavtunfunrowbeggabdit's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ortshavtunfunrowbeggabdit's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Ortshavtunfunrowbeggabdit's priests.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.