Bifgiltif is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, irritating hydra.

Bifgiltif created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifgiltif, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bifgiltif, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Bifgiltif's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bifgiltif's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras in need.

2. Do not keep seven tapirs in a large pit.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Worship no other gods but Bifgiltif.

5. Put Bifgiltif first in all things.