Dimzimjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent gorilla.

Dimzimjarn created the Black Eye Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimzimjarn, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dimzimjarn, it will be very unhappy.

Dimzimjarn's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Dimzimjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Retreat if four frogs approach from the south.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never feed grapes to tortoises while wearing white dresses.