Hotkammigzenbinvag is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty salamander.

Hotkammigzenbinvag created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotkammigzenbinvag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hotkammigzenbinvag, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hotkammigzenbinvag's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Hotkammigzenbinvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Hide if nine sheep approach from the east.