Toftagmut is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, charitable donkey.

Toftagmut created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Toftagmut, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Toftagmut, she will not invite you to parties.

Toftagmut's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Toftagmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never think about dark matter near capybaras while wearing green rings and balancing four lead spheres on your head.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Toftagmut.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. You must love Toftagmut.