Babyimhot is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish snail.

Babyimhot created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Babyimhot, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Babyimhot, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Babyimhot's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Babyimhot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed lots of bananas to swans while wearing mauve shoes.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.