Lidcudgumjam Hitcemquat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless bat.

Lidcudgumjam Hitcemquat created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Lidcudgumjam Hitcemquat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lidcudgumjam Hitcemquat, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lidcudgumjam Hitcemquat's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Lidcudgumjam Hitcemquat's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Hide from mauve moths for they are unholy.