Yaksugtik is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, merciless meerkat.

Yaksugtik created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yaksugtik, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yaksugtik, she will turn you into a snail.

Yaksugtik's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Yaksugtik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Retreat if nine great tits approach from the west.

5. Never eat green fruit.