Vadxucbin is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, sapient beaver.

Vadxucbin created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadxucbin, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vadxucbin, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vadxucbin's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Vadxucbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near mites while wearing black ear rings and balancing nine iron spheres on your back.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Never hop in the presence of foxes.

4. Never hurt tortoises.

5. Vadxucbin must be the most important thing in your life.