Dagfonwan is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, ruthless rat.

Dagfonwan created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagfonwan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dagfonwan, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dagfonwan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Dagfonwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Never eat coconuts on holy days.

4. Never paint your chest indigo.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.