Arnpodhakkan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless duck.

Arnpodhakkan created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Arnpodhakkan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Arnpodhakkan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Arnpodhakkan's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Arnpodhakkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never mention cats.

4. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

5. Shun those given to vanity.