Kikfudpad is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, weak squid.

Kikfudpad created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikfudpad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kikfudpad, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Kikfudpad's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Kikfudpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

2. Do not hop at rivers.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

4. Always remove shoes before entering holy places.

5. Do not listen to music.