Ditpibjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, witless mink.

Ditpibjarn created silver four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditpibjarn, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ditpibjarn, he will manifest in front of you.

Ditpibjarn's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Ditpibjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always help mites.

5. Do not kill nematodes.