Sabbensis Rawlipwit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tranquil badger.

Sabbensis Rawlipwit created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabbensis Rawlipwit, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sabbensis Rawlipwit, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sabbensis Rawlipwit's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sabbensis Rawlipwit's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not prepare onions while filled with joy.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Do not resist balance.