Tiprutgig is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful warg.

Tiprutgig created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiprutgig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tiprutgig, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tiprutgig's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tiprutgig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine moths approach from the east.

2. Do not consume spinach at dawn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.