Pigtarnib is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, smart dragon.

Pigtarnib created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigtarnib, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pigtarnib, he will not care.

Pigtarnib's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Pigtarnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not take Pigtarnib's name in vain.

3. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always help sick cats.