Bogdiblik Armkanlab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic beaver.

Bogdiblik Armkanlab created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogdiblik Armkanlab, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bogdiblik Armkanlab, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bogdiblik Armkanlab's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bogdiblik Armkanlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix pineapples with blood.

2. Never feed turnips to snails while wearing pink ear rings.

3. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with dogs.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.