Bonkbepster is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unfair squirrel.

Bonkbepster created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbepster, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bonkbepster, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bonkbepster's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bonkbepster's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing turquoise shirts.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Bonkbepster in the centre of the settlement.

4. You must love Bonkbepster.

5. Never go into black rooms.