Godquagkadruljonnelbumcun is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, tranquil hyena.

Godquagkadruljonnelbumcun created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godquagkadruljonnelbumcun, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Godquagkadruljonnelbumcun, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Godquagkadruljonnelbumcun's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Godquagkadruljonnelbumcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always help doves.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hop near dolphins.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.