Bidkaprak is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, calm goose.

Bidkaprak created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Bidkaprak, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bidkaprak, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bidkaprak's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Bidkaprak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

2. Never leap in the presence of horses.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Bidkaprak in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never eat melons.

5. Never eat bark.