Vinquaftaf is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, awe-inspiring mouse.

Vinquaftaf created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinquaftaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vinquaftaf, it will destroy your favourite star.

Vinquaftaf's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Vinquaftaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never feed lots of corn to birds while wearing magenta scarves.

3. Feed all hungry capybaras.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never write about special relativity.