Bimjenquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, contented faun.

Bimjenquam created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimjenquam, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bimjenquam, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bimjenquam's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bimjenquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Always help goats.

3. Do not kill horses.

4. Do not speak about grapes.

5. Never jump in the presence of birds.