Mitjamtapsteryok is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, prudent ant.

Mitjamtapsteryok created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitjamtapsteryok, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Mitjamtapsteryok, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Mitjamtapsteryok's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Mitjamtapsteryok's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mitjamtapsteryok.

2. Always store figs above ground.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about dark matter.

5. Always cleanse oil with water.