Bodwantarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, dishonest squirrel.

Bodwantarp created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bodwantarp, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bodwantarp, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Bodwantarp's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bodwantarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not place wheat upon stone.