Liplitcum is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking human.

Liplitcum created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Liplitcum, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Liplitcum, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Liplitcum's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Liplitcum's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Liplitcum loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never pour water over plants.