Onttaftunmumfidlit Mansabnakcibtamjamkik is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, happy badger.

Onttaftunmumfidlit Mansabnakcibtamjamkik created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Onttaftunmumfidlit Mansabnakcibtamjamkik, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Onttaftunmumfidlit Mansabnakcibtamjamkik, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Onttaftunmumfidlit Mansabnakcibtamjamkik's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Onttaftunmumfidlit Mansabnakcibtamjamkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not take Onttaftunmumfidlit Mansabnakcibtamjamkik's name in vain.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. You must pray to Onttaftunmumfidlit Mansabnakcibtamjamkik eight times a day.